Don't Take My Words ( Complex Migraine - TIA continued)

With eyes closed, the horror continues, the numbness travels and the breathing becomes more labored and frantic. My heart races and I can feel each pulsing course, as it booms through my left side, and then an erratic flutter or jump or something that disrupts the thunderous throbbing.  After a searing pain on my left side of my upper back, my shoulder goes dead...squeeze and release, squeeze and release and waves of heightened intensity ebb and flow leaving me over sensitised and then nothing.  I am asked a question and then it happens, mid sentence the words are sucked from my mouth and for a moment I can not speak.  I hyperventilate and gasp for breath, thinking, DON'T TAKE MY WORDS, and by some grace of GOD, they are given back, but the realization that I may lose them terrifies me.  I am asked to sit up and it takes every ounce of strength to get myself upright.  My body convulses and trembles like a tree losing it leaves during a hurricane.  I can not stop the shaking, but the headache subsides for a brief moment and then it throbs back and the entire flush occurs again, but the numbness comes and goes.  I am still holding on to some feeling on my left side, but it disappears and resurfaces on it's own terms.  I am given oxygen and an IV and it helps calm me down.  The breathing returns to normal and the numbness is now just in my fingers, I continue to squeeze and release believing it is making a difference.  The fear begins to slip away and I start to feel better, almost normal and quite silly for panicking so fiercely, but the episode repeats and subsides in waves of intensity.  When the swell begins, it is the whole build up all over again, and then it surges and dies down.  When all has stopped, I am left to feel foolish and almost embarrassed by my over reaction, but then it returns delivering a new dead zone, my face, my neck, my throat and the fear returns.  Intervals of ear issues accompany the ordeal, some replicate entire pressure, as though I am submerged under water, others are sharp pains in my ear, teeth and somewhere in my head.  Throbbing is present in various parts of my body, my head, my left arm, my neck and my chest and then it subsides to minimal coursing and as I wait, I bounce between thinking this is serious, to this is nothing but a head ache.  It is the most conflicting experience I have ever endured and when I am told this is either a mini stroke or a complex migraine, I have never, in my life, prayed for a migraine more intently.