The Survivor

I am but a shell harboring a body
I am but a mind unaware of it's purpose
I am but a patient who once had a life
I am but a mother who has now become a child
I am but a brain which has lost what it once had
I am but a human who survived but does not live
I am but a future reverting to it's past

Written in Tears

I can not speak
the words are interned in my throat
unable to move
my body trembles with the thoughts and words, that I can not speak
I am terrified
The tears escape as the words remain
but if you look closely
the words are there
written in the tear stained paper

The Fall

These strangers become family to some extent
we grow to expect to see them each day
and without words we share the most personal and intimate feelings
our eyes and bodies express what our mouths can not vocalize
and as each comes and goes, we hope for good news for one of us
but secretly we want it for ourselves
and as one families' nightmare comes to a horrendous crescendo
another new family appears in the hall
the same tumultuous journey awaits them
with one good day, comes three days of hell
with each moment we become more and more afraid to believe
afraid to have faith because the disappointment grows in severity
the higher we go the more damaging the fall
and it was just that, which brought us here
the fall

Waiting

Waiting
Clusters of strangers sharing a space
Each story is different and yet we have all arrived at this juncture
Our paths cross and our eyes lock for brief moments
and we see the same sadness
the same struggle
the same vacancy
and we wait
The constancy of the routine familiar and foreign at the same time
and we wait
Each desperate to see some improvement, some change, something
that represents hope
to keep the flow of energy alive
and we see tears, we feel tears serrating our hearts with their cold curves as they slide throughout our bodies
the painful ache of agony
for our loved ones, ourselves and these strangers we have come to share space with
and we hope
that our next tears will be tears of joy
at the sight of something

Forks

This is the first of many forks and I can't stomach any of it

Solid Hearts

Walks are a daily ritual that my dog Stella and I have come to relish
And today as we walked, we came upon something that gave me pause
and made me smile
and while I gazed at the wonder of a random and unexpected hoof print in the frozen earth
my companion came to see what had me so enraptured
and while I marveled at the sight
she stumbled into that which held me captive
and again it stirred a pondering that lead to inspired insight
and as her presence grazed the print
a swaddling of sentiment enveloped me
and as her paws met the hoof print that was frozen in the earth,
it gave me pause again
for it was then, that the message was clear...

she fell into my heart and has filled it
with the simplest of pleasures in the most extraordinary way

Writer's Curse

When words escape the poet, it's a sad day for the pen
When the ink is dry and crusty and I can't remember when
I last composed a rhyme, clever in it's verse
So, patiently I'm waiting to shed this writer's curse

Nature's Course

the moon can turn
the sun can burn
the skies can give us rain
nature's course
unbridled force
a torrent to restrain

Bringing Up the Rear

It is the first day of the new year and I have been contemplating my resolutions all day.  I am no different than the mass majority that strives to be better, lose weight, accomplish more and venture out of my comfort zone, yet unlike the masses, I do not want to set myself up for another failed attempt and so, I have unearthed what might be my most brilliant idea, since I started writing this blog.  I have decided to use reverse psychology.  I have decided to start my year, as my typical year usually ends.  I have determined that it is entirely more realistic for me to continue on my excessive patterns of eating and drinking at will, slotherly exercise routines that wax and wane with the moons cycles and lazy days of limited accomplishment and virtually no motivation to change.  If I start at the bottom and work my way back, I will avoid the rush of the fickle, physical enthusiasts, that storm the gym like an army of ants attacking a bread crumb that lies within their venerated domain, swarming and gathering in mass numbers, all to receive their piece of the prize.  While the ambitious congregate, I will be weening myself off the excesses of chocolate and alcohol I have established as part of my daily diet.  My routine will be easier to break if I am not forced to go cold turkey, after building up a tolerance most drunks and obese would struggle to attain. My body will not be thrown into a detox that instills cold sweats and the shakes from the sudden withdrawal of sugar and hops.  I will allow a more gentler transition from my over indulgence to my more tempered restraint.  By the time the masses have tired of their ambitious and restrictive goals, I will be ready to turn the keg in for a kettle ball.  I will be ready to set goals and actually work toward accomplishment, rather than rolling over and sleeping in for the seventh day in a row.  I will be tackling the mountain while everyone else is sliding down.  I will end my year better that I started it and everyone else will be so far gone, they'll need a Sherpa to get them back on track.
Now this is a resolution I can definitely handle.  Starting the New Year, bringing up the rear...Bottoms Up!!!