Falling Applause

A different shade of forest

Where the leaves in the trees,          
Collide in the breeze

                                                                                           

Creating a crescendo of clapping

  

Almost as if,

They were glad I came

Variant Grade

A perfectionist's thought process;

The sign of progress is to better your prior best
Anything shy of this is less than your abilities and thus establishes your first level of failure
With this,
The depths of failure will always plunge far deeper than the apex of success
This is why a perfectionist is often in the dark
Chipping away at the canyon, but seldom recognizing the beauty in the variant grade

Getting Wet and Loving It

A mother who has lost a child carries the weight of that child in grief
That love does not fade or weaken
It remains a tear in the heart that weeps everyday
Spiritual souls collect these tears and pool them together in a cloud
When the weight of the grief becomes too heavy, the clouds release this abundance of love with showers

So the next time it rains, soak up the love

Wonder World

When you look at me and wonder where I am

I am deep in thought

I am not vacant - I am sold out

I am not distant - I am ever present

In my own world

Built on the stilts of inquisition

Where questions are the foundation of existence

And answers inspire a new development

It Comes From Within

A mother represents pure and simple love.

She is the first to share herself.

The first to feed us, nurture us and touch us.

She is the first to feel the inexplicable and sensational bond with a child.

There is no one else who can claim these things before a mother can

and there is not a child born,

 who has shared these firsts with anyone, other than their mother.

 

In addition to these physiological aspects that a mother bears,

there is also the ethereal, intangible connection of love

that knows no limits, breaks all barriers and lasts eternally

 

Forever connected to our mother's hearts,

their love beats within us

Thinking Hiccups

At times my thoughts,
are like a hiccup
they come out of nowhere
and annoy me
until such time as I can rid them of their pestilent persistence
Shaking them,
only after numerous manipulations of mind and body
The peculiar interlude is not always a welcome guest
But the exodus is always a felicitous feat

Above The Swell

When sadness saturates the soul

Swallowing optimism

Succumb to the seize

Drown in the sorrow of the moment

Reflect

Introspect

And from within the curl of sorrow

Espy the light outside

Float above the swell

Giving rise to a crest of humble gratitude



Spitting Confidence

With confidence

We are the strength of a surf

Crashing against the sand

Scoring a shoreline of our own intention

Without it

We are the silent spit

Succumbing to the ceding shore

Eroding our resolve

 

Without restorative measures

We are but a swallowed sword

without an edge

Snappy Dresser

I had a discussion with a friend today that was rather amusing.  It was of course about our current state of age and how we see things progressing.  To my shock, my friend openly and quite sprightly admitted to growing an appreciation for elastic waist pants.  (Its okay, you can laugh.  I am still laughing about it. ) She even qualified her comment with a most assured distinction between the cheap ones found at KMart and the nicer ones from Sears.  I'm so glad this is one topic we don't see eye to eye on.  It is so very hard to believe that the day of the elastic might be here in a snap, for me and my similarly aged friends.  If others are discussing their comfort potential and ease of wear, I could be the next victim.  That is how trends start isn't it, one person wears something and if they can pull it off with confidence, a trend is born, a fashion ignited.  Soon we'll all be scouting out the seersucker, poly blend that bends and gives with every movement.  It's funny, if you look up elastic in the dictionary it says resilience.  I guess if our own bodies don't have it anymore, why not strap it on and say we have it?
 Zip up cardigans will be next, followed by winter coats until mid July.  Practicality will be my new mantra and if I am being honest, it already has taken over in many regards.  The high heel shoes have long been replaced in my closet. A nice flat slipper like shoe can look just as nice with the dresses I've been wearing. Those Dr Scholl orthotics don't fit in those narrow toes, so give me a nice wide toe box and I am a comfort maven, complete and covered, head to toe.  No cleavage for me, it no longer looks like anything anyone would want to see and actually might be a tad repulsive.  I don't even want to get started on the view from the back, but I'll do it just because it is really funny!!!  Have you ever really looked at an elephant's butt?  You know, minus the tail?  You know how it's kind of flat but rough and wrinkly? Yes, it looks just like that... absolutely no dimension other than wide.  No bubble butt or firm muscle mass. Just flat as a pile of pancakes, staggered, so you get the sagging rippled effect.  You put pants on that and no amount of elastic or other accompaniment is going to make that look good.  Dresses and skirts can be a bit more flattering as long as the tops are nice and loose.  I have caught myself in a top that is too tight and boy is it alarming.  If  you have ever tried to pour something from a large bottle into a smaller one, like liquid soap, you know what I mean.  If you aren't careful, you either over fill it or the larger container doesn't quite fit over the smaller one and you get seepage?  Well, that's the look exactly.  Ripples of excess tumble down the sides.  That would be me from the back, in anything that has any amount of cling.  All in all, not to stellar but I am past middle age, so it is all the natural order of things.  I have grown used to my appearance and I am okay with it.  I cover what I can in the least offensive way.
I have transitioned part way into the realm of elderly fashion.  I no longer try to look attractive.  I am happy if I go unnoticed because there is really nothing I would want anyone to take note of.  I am thrilled  if I don't pop a button or find a new roll that I now have to hide.  My clothing objectives have moved from showing it to stowing it and zipper pull has an entirely different meaning to me.  If the seams scream and the skin gets caught, that might mean it's time to give in to the give of elastic but until then I'll keep it undercover, as best an elephant with seepage can.

Empty Handed

Holding on

To a past

Believing

the harder we grasp

the stronger the bond

 Awareness dissipates

We strangle what we want

so desperately to keep within our grasp

Suffocating what we love

Smothering reality

Left empty handed



Dream Shapes

If I could dream in shapes, there would be no sharp edges
Some nights, I need a little cushion

The Flame Thrower

One year ago today, I saw my mother's last breath. I saw her final moment here on earth and it was peaceful, quiet, beautiful and tragic.  I had never seen anyone die until that moment.  She and I alone, in a room she had been sent to die in.  A room, in a house,  that was hers and ours for her final nine days.  Gone from this life but I believe the life she lived for her last two and a half months was an absent life for her but an eternal life lesson for her survivors. She was essentially non existent but her presence had enormous meaning.  We were meant to grow  and learn, love and inspire. We do not need to be vocal to be heard or alive to be felt. A life can take on meaning far beyond the extant moment it occupies at present.  A life can be inspiring even when it is less than it once was, essentially a symbol, an offering, a directive. A life that has moved on, can be the forecaster that is meant to lead.  It can be the future far before it's time.  A  precursor to what we are accustomed  to, but a future none the less.  My Mother's life was a beacon,  lighting the way, while she lived and her death was the light fading and pausing, waiting for a new flame thrower.

Heavenly Impart

I have someone in heaven
I talk to every day
My questions go unanswered
So patiently I pray
I know that I am cloistered
By the love we shared on earth
This spirit hugs me softly
And wills me a new berth
I'm hanging on to hope
That the life we shared return
My languid dream collapses
Internally I burn
This love I have in heaven
Has emptied me of tears
I weep and then I crumble
All memories revered
It seems so oddly wrong
That life resumes its pace
For everyone unaltered
By the life that's now displaced
I carry on morosely
With an absent weightless heart
Waiting for a healing
The heavenly impart

Paradox of Promise

If we regard only that which holds promise
Are we an ignorant fool, with a narrow line of vision
Or an auspicious optimist, with a rising sheen of sight

Snake Attack

The self absorbed desiccate all that surround them
Simply by sucking
Their vaporous venom is something only they can withstand

The Perfect Piercing

When efforts are anything less than unreasonable expectations
Perfectionism pierces the persona
Leaving an irritant of feckless frustration
That either sends the victim into a tempestuous blaze
Or cripples them into submissive stillness

Nothing But the Truth

Sometimes when we try too hard, insincerity steals the show

Necessary Opposition

There are times when black is the preferred color to white

Rain eclipses the sun

Tears relinquish smiles
And nothing is the desired something



For every dark day we endure
Our bright days magnify resilience

Think Up

My creativity has left me
with nothing but a big butt and a fat head. 
Time to slim down and think up

Poker Face

When you repeatedly, don't like the hand you've been dealt
Maybe it's time to play a different game

Small Wonder

It is said, 

The harder the challenge we are faced with, 

the more we grow as a result.  

Sometimes,

I wish there was a way to stay small

Danish Dumbbells

As I walked the other day, I kept hearing someone behind me.  I was in the woods so it was entirely possible that someone was ducking behind trees to avoid my gaze.  It got to the point where I actually thought they were throwing branches or small twigs at me.  I'd walk and stop, turn and nothing, walk and stop, turn and then nothing.  This went on for about five to ten minutes before I realized ...It was my own flab that was catching up to the rest of my body!!!  Oh man, it's never good when reverberating flab assaults the one to whom it's attached! I can only imagine what the wildlife was saying as I pounded the trails; "Check out the two legged moose on Brindle Pass, I'd steer clear of that thing.  I think it's grazing as it goes." I guess I've really let myself go this time and there's no turning back fat into muscle.  I am a rumpled, ripple of beastly blubber, bumbling down the fat track, fast!  It might be time to put down the danish and pick up a dumbbell. Maybe if they made dumbbells look like danish, they'd be more attractive to the lard like people like me..Maybe if exercise could be done, while eating, I'd find it more approachable.  Maybe if I weren't surrounded by all these adorable cupcakes with their thin, fit bodies, I wouldn't look so...LARGE!  Ah, but now I'm dreaming, I do work in a gym after all, but the good news is, this is the first dream I've had in ages where the cupcakes weren't frosted.  Could this mean I'm on my way?  Time will tell if I delay the deli and hit the carrot sticks and celery, or if I continue to live high on the hog, literally.

The Graceful Giver

Barren and empty-there are no words

An unfeigned silence is born

Giving rise to an unclaimed action

 

The graceful giver needs no name

Regret Me Not

If you are living with regret
Then you are sleeping with the enemy

Slice of Life

Sprinkle stones along the path

Caress me with your soul

Cover me with tears of joy

Blanket me in snow

Offer me a visual

A rainbow in the sky

Guide me to the answers

While I wait and wonder why

Engaging all the senses

Leave an imprint of your life

So those of us,  you've left behind

Can steal away a slice

 



The Other Side of Silence

Silence

A blessing

A calming,

A feather in the wind

A dusting of snow on a placid lake

that melds on the surface, gets swallowed up

and returns to the form from whence it came

Creating an antipodean fold

Silence

A burden

An unsettling

A disturbance to the balance

A passive violence, that singes the superficial

sears the atmosphere and delivers a darkness

Where the other side of silence is revealed

The Rain of Pain

As I walked today, the wind whistled so loudly I had to stop and listen
It spoke so forcefully, it commanded my attention
It drew me in and stilled my pace
I looked up and as the branches swayed
It sounded like rain
but the skies were clear and the earth was dry
What I heard was the pain of life's forgotten ones

Sorry State

I searched for the sorry in your words
But failed to hear them
I longed for the sorry in your eyes
But tears clouded my vision
I hoped for the sorry in your heart
And found the truth
in my own reflection

Sorry needs to start with the truth in your heart