Danish Dumbbells

As I walked the other day, I kept hearing someone behind me.  I was in the woods so it was entirely possible that someone was ducking behind trees to avoid my gaze.  It got to the point where I actually thought they were throwing branches or small twigs at me.  I'd walk and stop, turn and nothing, walk and stop, turn and then nothing.  This went on for about five to ten minutes before I realized ...It was my own flab that was catching up to the rest of my body!!!  Oh man, it's never good when reverberating flab assaults the one to whom it's attached! I can only imagine what the wildlife was saying as I pounded the trails; "Check out the two legged moose on Brindle Pass, I'd steer clear of that thing.  I think it's grazing as it goes." I guess I've really let myself go this time and there's no turning back fat into muscle.  I am a rumpled, ripple of beastly blubber, bumbling down the fat track, fast!  It might be time to put down the danish and pick up a dumbbell. Maybe if they made dumbbells look like danish, they'd be more attractive to the lard like people like me..Maybe if exercise could be done, while eating, I'd find it more approachable.  Maybe if I weren't surrounded by all these adorable cupcakes with their thin, fit bodies, I wouldn't look so...LARGE!  Ah, but now I'm dreaming, I do work in a gym after all, but the good news is, this is the first dream I've had in ages where the cupcakes weren't frosted.  Could this mean I'm on my way?  Time will tell if I delay the deli and hit the carrot sticks and celery, or if I continue to live high on the hog, literally.