8/4/10 Losing "it"

Do you ever feel like, sometimes, you just don't have it, and by it I mean, whatever it is you need to have to succeed?  I just didn't have it today and I couldn't find it and after a time, I gave up trying to find it.  Yes, today I gave up, quit, handed someone else, what I started the day wanting.  It's a horrible feeling to know I didn't give my best effort today.  I didn't try to figure out what needed to be altered and as I sit here typing away, sweating in this umbearable humidity, drinking my glass of wine, I am pissed off at myself, disgusted with my disinterest, ambivalence and lack of drive.  Where has it gone???  I used to care deeply. I would work myself hard and intense and yet, my execution today was deplorable.  I had am attitude I am ashamed to say, that I just didn't care.  Those who don't care, don't succeed and I joined the ranks of that less than desirable group today.  Those who quit without trying are cowhards.  They are afraid to fail while trying,  afraid to face the fact that their best might be less than perfect, but by failing to try, I have given away a piece of myself that I can never get back. I gave away my self respect and for that I am sad.