Sure-Prize

The prize is not always what we want

But it is always what we are given

Avoidance

Avoidance is a derivative of fear...

Avoidance...broken down...

A Void...hollow empty, vacant

Dance...Steps, movement or gestures

The end result...Hollow steps, empty movement or vacant gestures

the mere act of avoidance may seem like a protective barrier from disappointment

but the mere act of avoidance is disappointment

if we avoid, we are either afraid to fail, or don't care enough to try

Swollen

I was incompetent, inept, vacuous,

Verbally vacant but internally absorbed by that which assaulted me

A reality that was indescribable, yet entirely familiar

A nightmare, where you want to scream, but are unable to vocalize a single syllable...

Unable to speak, a sensation reserved for the dormant and incoherent dreamer

Frozen with fear...

 

but I have lived that horrifying and crippling condition

 

A shock and sadness so deep, so unexpected and so unwanted,

I never thought life was capable of a darkness so deep and completely black,

that I could not see anything

but the sorrow that swelled and swallowed my words...

Love Lingers

Death creeps closer with each pass
it takes from me
 the light that warms
the levity that lifts
 and the desire that drives
leaving me with the love that is lost,
 to the other side
sending me the warmth of light
 the lift of levity
and the drive to desire...
 love lingers long after the loss

Frozen Efforts

At what point do we accept, there is an issue, a failing, a falling, a void...
As we descend or once we are buried?
Is the shovel our saving grace or the devils device?
There are times when digging in is a fruitless effort
One can not halt the swallow of quicksand
Until we freeze our efforts and wait for help...

Keeping My Distance

My mind has been in a coma
Shocked into a solid sleep
Unable to feel, sense or express anything

Quietly distraught with no solace to be found

and when thoughts have always been the life blood that sustains me
and my words the sutures that heal

I find myself now,

lifeless, still, and scarred so deep that the pain is visible, tangible and infectious...
and distance, breathes life into the virus

Developing the Negative

Existence does not always give us what we want or expect
it gives us what we need to grow
and when it gives us a big dose
of all that we don't need, want or understand
we are meant to find the purpose behind the pain
There is always something to be gained
amidst the loss
It''s all about developing the negative